Lately, a blanket of depression seems to have covered over me. It's simply inexplicable... I couldn't bring myself to do any work during work, I feel so restless... like there's something wrong, somehow somewhere... Some part of me seems missing...
Some where inside me, I'm also grouching... on so many things. Many of which I don't seem to deserve... and yet, there's some discontent. "What's wrong?" seems to be a question which I am asking myself and yet refuse to do soul searching on. It's too confrontational.
And yet, despite all these difficulties that are self-found, within the walls of my soul, I know that there are simpler ways of looking at things. There's logic to be found and from the logic, solution. I guess it's just a matter of whether I want to or not.
Have been attending this feature writing class for the last two weeks. Today in class, someone asked, "What happens if we get writer's block?". Felix Cheong, our lecturer, said that there is no such thing as writer's block. It only happens when 1) you did not do your research before embarking on the journey of writing, 2) when you have not found the entry point to your story.
You know what? I think that it's applicable to life also. Life becomes difficult when you have yet to find the path towards life's goals. And the path is difficult to find when you have not yet gain enough exposure to place priorities in life.
I was walking back home from the mrt station earlier. The weather was so nice... I could even feel the coolness of the air through my relatively thick sweater. I was walking through this open-air badminton court when I saw this boy, perhaps about the age of 14 or 15? teaching his younger brother some footwork around a soccer ball. Just watching them kick the ball around, for that couple of minutes that I was walking beside them, conveyed a message to me. Life can be simple. On a friday night, instead of going out with his friends, spending unnecessary money, this boy is spending time alone with his kid brother. And he may not look like he's enjoying himself tremendously, but at least he did not look bored.
Life can be simple. It's a choice. It's a matter of contentment. It's a matter of knowing where your priorities lie and deal with it accordingly. It may not be as complicated as it appears to be although hiccups are normal and natural. Dealing with the glitches of life are part and parcel.
What more can I say? I've rambled on enough to not be aware if what I've said so far make logical sense. Somewhere, somehow, I feel the irony in my statements too. Haha... Isn't it ironic. Don't you think?
