Things getting real demoralising over here... Can't help feeling like I'm some cleaner, responsible for cleaning up all the shit that rolls down the hill, in my way. I can't help feeling that unless you are right at the top notch of hierarchy, everyone's cleaning up every other person's crap, shit, whatever you wanna call it. In my job, it sure feels like I'm doing things that are so unimportant, and that others have a bigger and more significant role in the big picture.
Yeah, it's true that a single cell (though single, though seemingly insignificant) is the basis of all living organism but I just can't do this much longer. I have concluded that my job is a hazard to my overall personal well-being. It's a hazard to:
1. My personal development--I don't feel I'm developing very much in anyway... skills, knowledge, character... in this position that I am in. This company's not a very people developer, unlikes my previous company...
2. My potential in the company-- With my current job scope, I don't see any potential corporate ladder that I might possibly climb in time to come
3. My personal ego-- I don't get a sense of fulfillment and I feel unappreciated. Not only that, I feel that I have a higher market value out there, doing something which I might enjoy better and getting a higher pay at the same time.
4. My health-- Staring into the screen the whole day long for at least 6 hours a day, is worsening my eyesight. My eyes feel more tired, strained and my dry eye syndrome is worsening...
5. My financial health-- My pay's crap... am not saying that I'm underpaid but it's just crap even if what I'm doing is only worth that much... And what's more, for what I'm doing, I can dare say, they can hire an intern and pay her/him $500 a month and get the exact same thing done. So why waste the company's money and at the same time, am NOT maximising my own potential right?
6. My emotional/ psychological state-- All the reasons mentioned above have at times made me doubt my own abilities, and have brought me emotional lows...
So CONCLUSION: This job is simply not worth it. As it is, I have already signed up with Asiaone career to look out for 'greener pastures'... This company can have it's cheaper labour somehow (I don't care how) after I leave and hopefully something better comes along for me... *keeping my fingers crossed*
Thursday, November 18, 2004
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