Responsibility...

Why oh why is there such a word... such a meaning...

I hate it when it's the sense of responsibility that keeps me going. It's so tiring...

I had a set-up at 12 midnight last night... Spent the entire day in office working non-stop, rushing things here and there... and it doesn't help when your clients are not helping in providing information... It's a vicious cycle... Info to you gets delayed, info to your suppliers get further delayed, and the whole entire event runs the chance of being screwed up.

Thank goodness nothing major went wrong today. But I'm so freaking tired... I ended set-up at 3am, reached home, had to work with my designer on another on-going project. Slept at 3.30am, woke up at 7am realising that I'm late... Was supposed to be back at events ground to ensure that everything is running smoothly at 7am...

I can't describe how I feel... I'm in for hardwork, but this is extreme? I haven't had a good rest since THE challenge, been working weekends... even if I don't have to come back office, I had to work on my laptop at home. Even when I'm out with my friends having dinner, I've to drop by MacDonald's to do periodic checks on neccessary stuff for my projects.

Is this worth it?

My mum and my aunts sure don't think so. My mum made a comment which made me think... "We did not bring you up to torture yourself and to live life this way. You cannot sell your soul and your self to work."

It hits right there. Even my mum feels so strongly. Never has she felt so strongly this way. I wouldn't say that she doesn't agree with my job, but I think she feels that it's too extreme. Imagine one week, I clocked 96 working hours. And it's never been less than 55 hours a week.

My aunt was just saying that it is ILLEGAL to have such long working hours... and she was telling me that she's going to dig up all the information, legal papers and all to show me... and in return I'm suppose to negotiate with my boss about it.

See what I mean?

I'm not blind... and I'm not stupid... I did ask myself if this is worth it. It's definitely testing my limits... I feel overstretched... overworked... so tired...