Tears...

The angels have been shedding tears of joy, flooding the earth for the last few days...

While I have been shedding tears of grief....

It sure seems to me that the Pope's passing on, is an occasion for rejoice... Because I believe he is called Home, to where he belongs now. Like what was said during the Homily this evening, it's time that he enjoyed his rewards beside the Father... in heaven.

However, I grieve to think that it might have taken the death of the Pope to bring me back to where I belong. The irony lies in the fact that the loss of a Shepherd, has brought a lost sheep home.

It took the passing on of the Pope, to bring me back to church today, for his memorial mass... It took an occasion like this, to force me to muster up the courage that I lacked, to seek forgiveness, to return to face a place where I've avoided for the last few months. It also took an occasion as such, to bring me back on track, to take a U-turn, from a route that I should not have chosen.

I can't help but think of how significant the last couple of days it has been for me.

As with how Jesus died on the cross for the people, to wash away our sins with His blood, the Pope did too. He died for me... for many others... and the rain that has been showering down on earth the last few days, sure seem to signify the washing of sins, of mine... away....

He brought me back to church, and as turbulous the last week has been with my new job, somehow he gave me strength to move on. Life's too short. I was also blessed by having plentiful of support from friends and family. Yeah... News: I resigned from my job only after a week.

But I felt like that's the right thing to do because I simply cannot stomach the work. The job seem to be a misfit for me... Or rather, Me a misfit for the job.

As wonderful as my new bosses are... It's my loss that I cannot work for them. They are truly warm and sincere people. But I guess for my mental health... I had to do it. Not being able to breathe or sleep, sure ain't no joke.

Anyway, the memorial was good. Helped me recollect what I should have been doing. Also reminded me that the past should just be treasured for its values, not its flaws. And I should move on with a lighter heart... :)